M. Nack’s Blog

The speaker at a conference I was at recently said that “massaging” your spine with one of those “massage” shower heads will stimulate your creativity. This same speaker gave us the assignment to spend at least 15 minutes A WEEK thinking. I thought he mispoke and meant 15 minutes a DAY - but he reiterated it several times: 15 minutes A WEEK! He suggested that the reason one has such great ideas in the shower is because of the massaging of the spine by the water. I don’t suppose the fact that you actually THINK has anything to do with it.

What I like to do is “massage” my scalp. I have heard that you have all sorts of nerve endings in your scalp and that scalp massages are very beneficial and relaxing for that reason. For sure, you have lots of blood vessels running to your scalp - which is why head wounds bleed so much. I think it has something to do with cooling the brain - but I could be wrong there. I’ve heard the same thing about feet and reflexology points - every major organ of the body is represented on the soles of your feet - and in the palms of your hands too!

This thing about massaging your spine reminded me that, I used to suffer these chronic kinks in my neck. A friend recommended a chiropractor. He was the old fashioned kind that really beats you up. It turns out it was just tension brought on by stress and tension (surprise!). But to make sure it wasn’t anything else, he x-rayed my neck. When he put it up on the light. I was stunned at the absolutely beautiful symmetry of the vertebrae. I vividly remember thinking, “Wow! That’s MY neck!?”

Underneath most things is a structure and an order that we may not even know exists. As with the scalp and soles of our feet, the macro is mirrored in the micro. As in the “science” of palm reading, people have their palms read to “learn about” themselves. Which is possible (if you believe in such things) because the palm is a reflection of the whole.

In deference to Deepak Chopra, who reminds us that we are Human BEINGS, not Human DOINGS, at the end of the day, the only true way to know about yourself is to just do. For it is in the DOING that you discover you who you are - what you enjoy , what you don’t. That is, as long as you take time out to think 15 minutes every week.

“All Things With Exuberance!”

mary!

There was an interesting movie on TV the other night: “Evening”.  (2007?) It is a “chick flick” for sure. My husband totally slept through the whole thing. Vanessa Redgrave plays an old woman on her death bed reminicising on the days of her youth and the love of her life, who she does not marry or otherwise spend her life with. The tale is about her reconciling her regret over that fact - did she do the right thing? There were cameo performances by Meryl Streep (who looked absolutely lovely and played the ultimate “wise grandmother”) and Glenn Close. (It was weird seeing Glenn CLose in a subordinate role. She is such a presence!) The main theme of the film was, rather than living out their lives with “Their ONE Great Love”, these women made other choices. As Meryl Streep says at the end of the movie, “We did what we had to.” 

I find it an interesting hypothesis. Meryl Streep’s character, unable to marry her “Great Love”,  decides to “settle” and marry ”a good man”.  She clearly arrives at the end of her days happy and content with her choice. Vanessa Redgrave’s character finally decides that she, too, made the right choice, choosing her calling as a chanteuse over a life with her Great Love. The movie belies the modern day notion that romantic love is necessary for happiness. “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” There are other priorities that fulfill us and make us happy - children, career, following our calling in life. The movie surprisingly turns out to be a “women’s lib” film! Women don’t need a man to give their life meaning or fullfillment.

The movie also belies the notion that there IS, in fact, only “One Great Love.” Vanessa Regrave’s daughter in the film agonizes over whether the father of her unborn child is, ”The One”. Should she commit to that relationship? At the end, she concludes it’s a meaningless question - by virtue of proximity and the fact that she’s pregnant with his child, she already HAS commited to it - at least at some level. The heart has many chambers and is capable of many different sorts of relationships. Holding out for ”The ONE Great Love of your Life” may only lead to frustration, despair, loneliness and unhappiness. Put another way? “Bloom where you are planted.”

“All Things With Exuberance!”

mary!

Going back through my blog, cleaning it up a bit, I came across the You-Tube video of Chris Bliss juggling - and the competing video of the juggler with a “professional” routine. Apparently, the juggling world was upset and outraged at the popularity of Chris Bliss’ simple routine. (Here it is again in case you missed it: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4776181634656145640 ) Now, I understand that Chris Bliss’ routine may not be the pinnacle of juggling complexity. And comparing the two videos, his is relatively slick while the other guy’s has a “home video” quality. Nonetheless, there is something compelling about Chris Bliss’ passion and mastery of his comparatively easy routine that makes it hypnotic. It seems to me the moral of the story is that we make things way harder than necessary. It isn’t important that you run faster, higher, stronger then the next guy. What matters is that you have such love for what you do that you are fully present in the moment that you’re doing it. THAT is the one little difference that makes all the difference! THAT is what makes a consummate performer like Yo-Yo Ma at the top of his field. When I saw Yo-Yo perform live a couple of years ago, he electrified the whole auditorium. And it wasn’t about his technical brilliance, which he certainly has, it was about taking “performance” to a whole new level. He and his cello literally breathed and sang as one. It is an evening I’ll not soon forget. 

With The Olympics just around the corner, I wonder how many of those superbly disciplined athletes will remember to put all the preparation and training behind them and just revel in their excellence? The competition for which women gymnasts will be members of the U.S. team is currently going on - mere teenagers! Which is a whole other story… yet I can’t help but be reminded of the book and movie “The Way of the Peaceful Warrior.” The main character is a gymnast and at the end learns that it isn’t about winning competitions - it’s about loving what you do and being fully present in the moment that you are doing it. “It is the journey that makes us happy, not the destination.”

“All Things With Exuberance!”
mary! 

Moving from West Loop to Mayfair has shifted our energy. It’s been a “returning” feeling. Living in West Loop rattled our nerves and we walked through our days feeling “frayed”. Was it too much concrete - too few trees? Was it the constant racket of the el, heliocopters delivering people to the medical centers 1/2 mile south of us, the boomboxes of our neighbors? Or the distinctly different culture we found ourselves immersed in? It was weird how leaving the North Side for West Loop felt as if we had moved to a different city - or even a different country! Whereas moving to Mayfair was such an easy - almost seamless! - transition. We were settled in record time; something like 10 days. Well, OK, maybe not completely settled. In 10 days we had the rocks in place. And maybe even the pebbles. We still have the sand and water to situate. (Though it’s entirely possible that may never happen.) The thing is Mayfair isn’t really our ‘hood. Ravenswood/Lincoln Square is. We lived there for 30 years! As I said about matching energies and ‘hoods - maybe our energy is a Mayfair energy now, not a Lincoln Square energy. Lincoln Square is somewhere between Mayfair and West Loop. Maybe this sojourn to Mayfair is just meant to be a temporary reprieve to allow our frayed nerves a chance to mend. Yet I have this crazy notion that someday I would love to own a condo overlooking Millenium Park (at prices in excess of $600/sf!). Because the one thing I really loved about living in West Loop is being 15 minutes from anything downtown. But how the heck does living downtown fit into the energetic scheme of things? I guess it will happen when we get a Millenium Park energy.
 
“All Things With Exuberance!”

mary!

In 1972 while I was going through my “college drop-out” phase, I was working at Aetna Life & Casualty’s claim department in real estate claims. I thought it was pretty exciting, though you can only be so young once. It was my first real exposure to the world of real estate. I remember at the time seriously entertaining the notion of becoming a lawyer. However, facing 3 more years of college and then 3 years of law school, it seemed hopelessly far off to me. And no one was really supporting me or encouraging me  in the decision. In fact, the exact opposite. It largely had to do with the fact that I was female and lawyers were men. In those days, women were supposed to get married, have babies and let their husbands suppport them. I also vaguely remember someone telling me that there were too many lawyers graduating law school and that becoming a successful lawyer was hopelessly competitive even for men. If that was true in 1972, what would they say of today’s environment!! The field was wide open then compared to today!

This afternoon I was at a symposium comprised largely of female attorneys involved in some aspect of real estate. The more senior members of the group were my age. They tell stories of how the profession was like the wild west in those days. They also share montrous tales of being women in a man’s world.

I don’t regret not becoming a lawyer. Though it’s interesting to wonder how my life would have been different if I had. I suspect I would have ended up in real estate brokerage anyway. Some paths are just meant to be. Then I would have regretted not using my law degree. *sigh*

I never intended to be a radical feminist. I was certainly not a bra-burner! Growing up the daughter of a Navy Captain, I was pretty straight-laced as a young woman. And yet the era in which I grew up thrust that role upon me. My generation is a “sandwich” group. We wanted it all - motherhood and a career. The younger generation, the children that we raised in our spare time, realize that it simply doesn’t work. The older generation doesn’t quite understand what we were trying to do. A young woman in her late 20’s, early 30’s at the symposium today thanked me and a colleague for paving the way for her. That was surprising to me. (“Huh? I did what?”) And touching. As the expression goes, “May you live in interesting times.”

“All Things With Exuberance!”
mary!

I was at an event earlier this week where this fellow discussed how we often neglect recovering physical energy. (Along the lines of what Loehr and Schwartz said in The Power of Full Engagement.) Now, I need to put this conversation into context, because the presenter is a tri-athalete and coaches kids in the sport. So, he is a pretty serious athlete - and looked it! He clearly is carrying less than 20% body fat! As part of physical recovery, he discussed how important it is that we eat nutrient-rich foods. He asked the audience which choice should he make if he had a spare 200 calories in his eating plan for that day - the eggplant parmigiana or the asparagus? (Both items were on our lunch menu. Gasp!) My initial reaction was, “Oh, come on! Is he really monitoring his food intake that carefully? 200 calories is nothing for this guy! He probably burned off 1000 calories before breakfast this morning!” As soon as I thought it, I answered, “Yeah! I bet he is!” Because he is as serious as a heart attack about his sport. You just know that he keeps track of every sip of water and morsel of food that crosses his lips. While I sit around and whine like a spoiled brat, “It isn’t fair. Why should I have to do that? Nobody else does.” Boy! That’s coming out of my vocabulary right now!!

A light bulb came on for me: even athletes monitor their food intake! Or maybe instead of saying “even”, I should say “in particular”.  Notice the language: athletes don’t “diet”, they “monitor their food intake”. They will do whatever it takes to maximize energy and performance. And how is that any different than what we “mere mortals” need to do in order to get through OUR day - “with exuberance!”? (Particularly at THIS time of year!) We also need to “maximize energy and performance” Framed that way, doesn’t eating properly sound a whole lot better than “dieting”? (The old joke: what do the first three letters of “diet” spell?) And here’s the thing: so you EAT the cake and cookies and holiday punch, etc. - put on the requisite “Holiday 10″. Just how crappy DO you feel afterwards? Feel like taking that jog around the block now? (Talk about heart attacks!) But of course all of this is important only if you’re serious about accomplishing the things you want in life. As it says in Alice in Wonderland: if you don’t know where you’re going, then it doesn’t matter much which way you go. 

Happy Holidays!

“All Things With Exuberance!”
mary!

I never meant to suggest that Paul Potts was on a par with Pavorotti as a tenor. It’s just that the aria which catapulted Paul to fame and fortune is the one that Pavorotti made popular to the “non-opera philes” of the world. (Here is Pavorotti’s rendition: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONUCPKdGcrk) I saw a quote recently attributed to Pavorotti. It goes something like this: “People think that I am discliplined. They are mistaken -  I am dedicated. There is a great difference.” Devotion vs. Discipline. Living an inspired life vs. being driven by “personal demons”. Exuberance vs. Vengeance. Day and night, no?

“ All Things With Exuberance!”

mary!