Home: Where The Heart Is?
There is something inherent in human nature that we want to possess things. We want to own things, hang onto them - make them ours.
My husband and I just spent 48 hours on the eastern shore of Lake Michigan. We are exploring this area as a possible future vacation/get-away spot. It has the advantage of being closer to Chicago than Door County. And since the market downturn caused us to give up all our acquisitions in Door County, we are feeling the need to recreate that experience. We spent a fair amount of time discussing and exploring possible candidate areas for future ownership.
And yet, from a financial standpoint, owning a vacation home makes no sense at all. For the money we spent on our cottage in Door, we could have taken some pretty fabulous vacations. And how many times did we go to Door and really vacation? How many times was going just one more thing added to an already over-crowded “to do” list?
And yet there is that emotional sense of belonging: belonging to a community, of belonging to a place, of being invested in what goes on and what happens, of putting down roots. Belonging to a place that just the mere thought of brings happy memories of good times - the proverbial “Blue Bayou”. You don’t get these emotional deposits by merely vacationing - staying a night or two, taking in the local treasures - and then moving on. These things only come with acquisition and ownership.
What I’m really describing, of course, is “Home”. Being raised a Navy kid, the idea of Home is something that has always eluded me. Interesting, isn’t it? That someone who has never truly experienced “Home” should make a living selling them. But that’s a story for another day…
And why is it that I have never truly invested where I am living with that interest and sense of belonging? Because I have to live here. I have to come home day after day after day to a place of sanctuary. If I invest TOO much emotional currency into it, and things don’t go the way I want them to, then I’ve lost my sanctuary. This is, after all, life in the city. And if we lose our sanctuary, we will not be able to continue to live here. At the end of the day, this is what forced us to leave our condo in East Ravenswood.
Perhaps it is about commitment - not wanting to make so much of a commitment to a locale that it holds me back. Holds me back from what?
I have a client that I sold a home to 4-5 years ago that jumped in with both feet right away. She knows all her neighbors, eats dinner with them on a regular basis, is involved in the local library, the parks, etc etc etc. I emailed her recently. I asked her if she had ever thought about running for public office. She has that investment, that commitment to her community.
Perhaps the reason owning a 2nd home is so important is that it provides that sense of belonging without requiring too much commitment. It’s like living together vs. getting married. We want to be in a relationship - but getting married is just too scary. Crazy, huh?
“All Things With Exuberance!”
mary!
